Cambridge Patisierie

Nestled near the round church, just down a bit is the Cambridge Patiserie. I think it's changed owners a few times, and always has a sign outside with breakfasts / bacon rolls deals, so we gave it a try.

The large underused pavement dining area doesn't get a lot of sunshine in the morning

Troby:
On this particular morning, I felt much in need of some scrambled eggs on brown toast, after some over-participation in the 'works drinks' the previous evening. The staff were welcoming, attentive, and polite, although not keen to go to far off-piste on the menu selection. It was decided I should be charged for the "Punters breakfast" which also included bacon and mushrooms for a fiver, so possibly a win / win. I ordered a black americano as well. I thanked them for accomodating my slightly fussy order (no butter on toast, and eggs scrambled). There were smiles all round, and some self depricating talk of their English not being very good. We sat outside in the crisp bright Cambridge ambience.

Pretty views of the gothic St John's Cathedral (probably)

 with an element of dark forboding

Coffee came soon, and was acceptable. The food arrived in ok time.
Scrambled eggs are easy to do, but there's a whole spectrum of gloopiness/wetness/creaminess/fluffiness/dryness/rubberyness. Plus they continue to cook after out of the pan, so keen timing is required. Maybe they're not that easy to do. Below is what I'd hoped for versus what I got.

What I'd hoped for

What I got

Disapointment set in straight away. Not only was this some method of cooking eggs that I'd never seen before (egg frisbee disc?), but the toast was buttered against my instructions. I turned out that the language barrier may have been an issue after all. I considered complaining, but didnt' have the gumption this morning, so made my best effort at eating it.
Egg: Rubbery as can be
Bacon: Tasty enough, but limp and boiled
Mushrooms: Ok, cooked with lettuce?!
Tomato: Uncooked, but well presented
Toast: Undercooked, buttered against my wishes
Heat: Not piping.

So overall, a big disappointment, kind of fitting for one of those mornings where you feel rough, but also happy to be alive.

• Food     1.5
• Value    2
• Service  3
• Ambience 4
• Coffee   3

Seefud:

Despite cycling past most days for 18 months, we'd never tried this place. For reasons unclear to me, I had low expectations. It would be a nice place to sit outside if it got any sunshine in the morning. Maybe afternoon teas are better. It seems to be staffed by non natives. Around Cambridge that bodes well for service, but they really ought not be let loose in the kitchen on their own to prepare a full English. I went for the Rowers breakfast I think, which supposedly came with unlimited refills on filter coffee or tea. About £8.

It arrived in reasonable time, as did the coffee which was nice enough for filter. The service was cheerful enough and the cutlery was delivered simultaneously. Result! It was all downhill from there though. The toast was almost bread, but there was plenty of it. The sausage was low quality. The bacon was a total fail, kind of chopped up, and the cooking method might have been boiling. The shrooms were okay, as was the egg and the beans were beans. The tomato, however nicely carved, was raw. It's a key ingredient in a "cooked breakfast", NOT A FECKING SALAD GARNISH!! I made my displeasure clear in a very English fashion.

Oh, and unlimited refills of coffee? I wasn't ever offered a second cup. Oh, and if you're going to serve breakfast outside in the shade on chilly Autumn morning, you could at least warm the plates. I will not be going back.

• Food     1.5
• Value    2
• Service  2
• Ambience 2.5
• Coffee   2.5